BDSM chastity the fascinating world of bondage & discipline, domination & submission, and sadism & masochism is a love and hate relationship seen by outsiders.
There is a saying, “Love should not hurt,” and to some extent it is true. However, with BDSM, this saying does not work.
Why? Because BDSM partners agree to activities involving different levels of arousing and physical awkwardness or even pain.
So is BDSM Chastity abuse? When you look at a consensual relationship, it is not abuse due to the consent involved.
Besides, you can still find abusers and abusive forcefulness present in the BDSM community.
Therefore, the question you need to ask yourself is, “How do you tell the difference between abuse and BSM?”
A fact is there is a prominent distinctive feature between abuse and BDSM that is communication, consent, planning, and respect involved with BDSM.
BDSM Chastity Indications
BDSM is not just getting into the kink of chastity role-play, femdom chastity control, whips, tying up with ropes, and more.
It is about pre-play negotiations giving the consent to partake in some form of fetish, domination, etc.
Furthermore, it is about having a safe word or two from slow down to stop building trust with each other. It is all about discussions and reassurance when a scene gets emotional afterward.
Moreover, it is about having discussions with your partner about soft and hard limits and not breaking the trust without full prior debate.
Another essential thing is BDSM chastity is safety first when one partner is restricted and panics by releasing them quickly.
Therefore, bondage and discipline come with trusting each other throughout the process and not abuse.
How do you know your BDSM Chastity is abuse?
There is a big difference between the do’s and abuse in a BDSM relationship as seen hear:
| BDSM DO’S | ABUSE |
| Controlled Situation | Out-of-control |
| Negotiations happen before the time to see what will and will not happen | Only one person decides what happens |
| Knowledgeable consent by both parties involved | No Consent |
| A safeword is used to stop the scene at any time | The person cannot stop what is happening to him or her |
| Everyone involved is concerned about desires, limits, and needs with each other | No concern at all about desires, limits, or needs |
| The people involved feel good after an SM scene | After the SM scene, the people concerned feel bad |
These are some excellent guidelines to determine if you are in an abusive BDSM relationship. A fact is that BDSM has long been a target for outsiders when it comes to criticism.
The point is that bondage & discipline, domination & submission, and sadism & masochism come in different forms.
Therefore, to answer the question of if BDSM chastity is abuse, you need to determine how healthy your relationship is first.
Here we have a checklist of relevant items to ask associated with BDSM.
- Can you speak what you need to say for others to hear and understand you?
- Are you creating an environment where others can tell you what they need to say, even if you do not want to hear it?
- Is your relationship you are fair to both of you? Do you allow each other’s voices to be heard?
- Does your relationship allow both of you to pursue their joy?
With these questions in mind, it will help you to determine if your BDSM relationships a pleasure or abuse.
A fact is that BDSM has loads of health benefits as well and is not abuse.
Health Benefits of BDSM
Many people see BDSM as dangerous, unhealthy, and reckless, and the biggest culprit is the media.
A fact is that humans have always had the liking to have adventurous sex from bondage, erotic biting, to self-denial.
However, recent studies prove that BDSM offers excellent health benefits for both men and women.
Helps Improve Mental Health
People in the kinksters leagues not psychologically damaged to rejection compared to vanilla counterparts.
They feel more secure in their relationships and helps increase their well-being at the same time. Couples in a BDSM relationship are more reliable towards each other and more open to try new things.
Furthermore, they have decreased anxiety and less sensitive to perceptions.
Hence they are also more aware of their sexual needs and can adequately express their desires and boundaries.
Therefore, they have a high level of self-awareness, allowing them to have better happiness inside and outside of the bedroom.
Releases Stress
A series of studies done by the Northern Illinois University showed an altered state of the hormone cortisol found in yoga practitioners and marathon runners.
The activity helps lower stress levels, and during the test, they took saliva samples of both the dominant and submissive during the sadomasochistic scene.
The dominant showed a decreased level of the hormone after a session. With decreased cortisol, it helps protect different health ailments from high blood pressure to insulin resistance.
The second study done on partners receiving pain showed a reduced function in their limbic and prefrontal region of the brain.
Both these areas are associated with working your memory and control of the brain. The results were that the blood flow reduces to these areas and alters your state of consciousness.
In the BDSM community, it is called the “subspace” for the submissive partner and “topspace” for dominants.
Therefore, some BDSM participants have a spiritual experience.
Helps Improve Relationships
BDSM helps partners to connect and feel intimate with each other.
A fact is during the sadomasochistic scenes, the activity triggers the brain with the feel-good chemical dopamine making you relaxed and keeps you smiling.
Do you want to uplift your lovemaking? Then it may be the right time to bring in some role-play or some form of BDSM kink.
Maybe you have wanted to try it, but have not had the guts to ask your partner yet.
BDSM Chastity is Not Abuse
As you can see, BDSM is not abuse, and it all depends on the type of relationship you find yourself.
Taking part in different kinks from bondage, chastity play, domination, submission, and more can lead to better mental and physical health.
Are you in an abusive BDSM relationship? You are! Now is the time to move on. Rid yourself of the toxic relationship. BDSM is supposed to be fun for both and not only one.
