BDSM, is it on your sex menu? Maybe you still have some skepticism or discomfort about it.
Furthermore, how easy it getting started with BDSM? Besides, how much is there to do when it comes to Bondage/Discipline Domination/Submission Sadism/Masochism.
Alternatively, you may think of Rihanna standing with her chains and whips. On the other hand, you think of Fifty Shades of Gray.
A fact is that BDSM is more than just the whips and chains. To find out what it is and how to get started, you can start right here.
What is BDSM
A fact is that BDSM you can categorize into different sections to bring sex, power, and pain into your healthy relationship. The important thing is that both adults need to give their consent and be communicative about it.
First BDSM does not have a code or physical violence. A fact is it can become creative, fulfilling, and sweet. The primary responsibility is with the Dominant to control the vulnerability when being submissive.
The important thing is that both partners need to aim to please each other. The submissive will set boundaries when having ultimate control over the relationship.
Furthermore, there is a difference between sadism and physical abuse. Also, there always needs to be constant communication, as both partners need to feel safe and cared for.
On the other hand, dominance is not about barking out orders to call the shots. Yes, the dominant does call the shots in the relationship once the rules established by both partners.
BDSM is all about trust, even when forced to do something it should not be on the sub missive’s own free will. Furthermore, there should always be safe in and out available.
How Do You Ease Into BDSM?
While you always relate it with whips, chains, leather, and cuffs, there are other ways to ease into it. You can bring in dirty talk as a starter, or you can do sexting.
Alternatively, you can create a sexual setting to figure out what your likes and dislikes and best to do for testing the waters if it is your first time.
Furthermore, BDSM is about pushing the limits and not exceeding them. So to get started:
Talk about BDSM in your relationship
Communication is the key and vital for both parties to feel comfortable. Discuss your fantasies, desires, likes, and dislikes. You need to establish limits and express when you want to continue or stop. Trust is essential and discussing what is painful, unpleasant, or is a turn-off in your kinky play sessions vital. You do not want your role play to turn sour.
Decide who is the Dominator
Are you the dominator or prefer being at the receiving end. Maybe both of you enjoy the domination role and also want to fulfill a kink.
Here you can take turns to fulfill your fantasies. The important thing is to decide who is going to be in control as it helps to settle into roles naturally.
Pick a Safe Word
You will find some kinks involving non-consent fantasies from screaming to struggling. Therefore, the dominator needs to know the differences in their role play. The person needs to know when to stop.
Whether it is rape to torture fantasy once can shout no or stop as part of the kink. That is why you need a safe word to say we need to stop.
A common word is red, macaroni, eucalyptus, and more. The word needs to be something that both can remember easily. As with a stop word, you also need a word to say that the person must keep going like red will mean stop now, and green means keep going.
Alternatively, orange can mean you like what the person is doing, but it is too hard. Now if you are gagged, you will need to work out some form of shaking the head with uttering sounds like mm-mm for it to work.
On the other hand, you can give the receiving person something to hold that they can drop to get your attention.
Take Baby Steps
If you only want to explore, we recommend you take it slow that is non-threatening. You can start with blindfolding the person as the first step while you are in charge.
Doing this allows you to explore your partner’s interest when you are in control. If your partner becomes fearful, you know you need to stop.
A fact is there is no need for buying BDSM toys as first as you can use whatever is around the home. You can apply from shirts, neckties, to scarves in your role play.
If you want to add more to the kink you can start with spanking as all you need is your bare hand. Bring in items in the room for sexy play from your hairbrush to a wooden spoon.
You can even use your electric toothbrush to tickles the person and great for sensory play. Get some ice cubes for temperature play or use a credit card as a blade without causing damage.
The important thing is to take it easy and increase the intensity slowly for the person to adjust. When it comes to bondage, you can tie the wrists with belts and not too tight.
Furthermore, do not cut off the person’s blood circulation and keep a pair of scissors handy.
As time progresses you can even bring chastity play into your role play as well.
Now it is time to buy quality products!
If and when you decide to buy BDSM toys, remember to buy quality and not cheap. You can find different items to fulfill your kink online from Amazon, Etsy, or the Kinkstore.
With them, you can find different equipment that is handmade or custom made to live out your desirable pleasure. Furthermore, you can visit a renowned sex shop in the area and ask them about what works best in your role play.
Once you have your items on hand, the important thing is not to add anything to your kink once you start. Establish the limits and parameters of the session and do not add anything.
A fact is that once you are aroused, you may feel tempted to try something new and only find it was too much. There is always a next time.
The crucial thing is to have fun!
Did We Mention Communication is Key?
We know we are repeating ourselves, but it is worth mentioning again. Even when you have established your BDSM kink in the relationship, your communication can falter.
Always check after each session if anything changed from something your partner did not like or liked. Maybe you can do thing better, or perhaps both of you want to explore more.
The key is to check in before and after a session by asking what the person is for in the mood tonight. Perhaps you want to try something new or want to make love the old-fashioned way.
Therefore, sit down and chat over a glass of wine or during your texting session throughout the day. By communicating, you remove pressure from the relationship making your BDSM experience a pleasurable one.