BDSM Get The Kink On?

BDSM Dirty Things To Say

BDSM, is it on your sex menu? Maybe you still have some skepticism or discomfort about it.

Furthermore, how easy it getting started with BDSM? Besides, how much is there to do when it comes to Bondage/Discipline Domination/Submission Sadism/Masochism.

Alternatively, you may think of Rihanna standing with her chains and whips. On the other hand, you think of Fifty Shades of Gray.

A fact is that BDSM is more than just the whips and chains. To find out what it is and how to get started, you can start right here.

What is BDSM


A fact is that BDSM you can categorize into different sections to bring sex, power, and pain into your healthy relationship. The important thing is that both adults need to give their consent and be communicative about it.

First BDSM does not have a code or physical violence. A fact is it can become creative, fulfilling, and sweet. The primary responsibility is with the Dominant to control the vulnerability when being submissive.

The important thing is that both partners need to aim to please each other. The submissive will set boundaries when having ultimate control over the relationship.

Furthermore, there is a difference between sadism and physical abuse. Also, there always needs to be constant communication, as both partners need to feel safe and cared for.

On the other hand, dominance is not about barking out orders to call the shots. Yes, the dominant does call the shots in the relationship once the rules established by both partners.

BDSM is all about trust, even when forced to do something it should not be on the sub missive’s own free will. Furthermore, there should always be safe in and out available.

How Do You Ease Into BDSM?

Japanese Bondage BDSM Play

While you always relate it with whips, chains, leather, and cuffs, there are other ways to ease into it. You can bring in dirty talk as a starter, or you can do sexting.

Alternatively, you can create a sexual setting to figure out what your likes and dislikes and best to do for testing the waters if it is your first time.

Furthermore, BDSM is about pushing the limits and not exceeding them. So to get started:

Talk about BDSM in your relationship


Communication is the key and vital for both parties to feel comfortable. Discuss your fantasies, desires, likes, and dislikes. You need to establish limits and express when you want to continue or stop. Trust is essential and discussing what is painful, unpleasant, or is a turn-off in your kinky play sessions vital. You do not want your role play to turn sour.

Decide who is the Dominator


Are you the dominator or prefer being at the receiving end. Maybe both of you enjoy the domination role and also want to fulfill a kink.

Here you can take turns to fulfill your fantasies. The important thing is to decide who is going to be in control as it helps to settle into roles naturally.

Pick a Safe Word


You will find some kinks involving non-consent fantasies from screaming to struggling. Therefore, the dominator needs to know the differences in their role play. The person needs to know when to stop.

Whether it is rape to torture fantasy once can shout no or stop as part of the kink. That is why you need a safe word to say we need to stop.

A common word is red, macaroni, eucalyptus, and more. The word needs to be something that both can remember easily. As with a stop word, you also need a word to say that the person must keep going like red will mean stop now, and green means keep going.

Alternatively, orange can mean you like what the person is doing, but it is too hard. Now if you are gagged, you will need to work out some form of shaking the head with uttering sounds like mm-mm for it to work.

On the other hand, you can give the receiving person something to hold that they can drop to get your attention.

Take Baby Steps

Man in Bonadage

If you only want to explore, we recommend you take it slow that is non-threatening. You can start with blindfolding the person as the first step while you are in charge.

Doing this allows you to explore your partner’s interest when you are in control. If your partner becomes fearful, you know you need to stop.

A fact is there is no need for buying BDSM toys as first as you can use whatever is around the home. You can apply from shirts, neckties, to scarves in your role play.

Sensory Play

If you want to add more to the kink you can start with spanking as all you need is your bare hand. Bring in items in the room for sexy play from your hairbrush to a wooden spoon.

You can even use your electric toothbrush to tickles the person and great for sensory play. Get some ice cubes for temperature play or use a credit card as a blade without causing damage.

The important thing is to take it easy and increase the intensity slowly for the person to adjust. When it comes to bondage, you can tie the wrists with belts and not too tight.

Furthermore, do not cut off the person’s blood circulation and keep a pair of scissors handy.

As time progresses you can even bring chastity play into your role play as well.

Now it is time to buy quality products!

Woman in Bondage

If and when you decide to buy BDSM toys, remember to buy quality and not cheap. You can find different items to fulfill your kink online from Amazon, Etsy, or the Kinkstore.

With them, you can find different equipment that is handmade or custom made to live out your desirable pleasure. Furthermore, you can visit a renowned sex shop in the area and ask them about what works best in your role play.

Once you have your items on hand, the important thing is not to add anything to your kink once you start. Establish the limits and parameters of the session and do not add anything.

BDSM Candle Wax

A fact is that once you are aroused, you may feel tempted to try something new and only find it was too much. There is always a next time.

The crucial thing is to have fun!

Did We Mention Communication is Key?

Temperature Play

We know we are repeating ourselves, but it is worth mentioning again. Even when you have established your BDSM kink in the relationship, your communication can falter.

Always check after each session if anything changed from something your partner did not like or liked. Maybe you can do thing better, or perhaps both of you want to explore more.

The key is to check in before and after a session by asking what the person is for in the mood tonight. Perhaps you want to try something new or want to make love the old-fashioned way.

Therefore, sit down and chat over a glass of wine or during your texting session throughout the day. By communicating, you remove pressure from the relationship making your BDSM experience a pleasurable one.

Permanent Chastity Reality – Never take lightly !

Reality of Male Celibacy

Permanent Chastity you should never take lightly! So why do we say this?

The reality is you and your lover should see it as a lifestyle change that can be extreme and rewarding at the same time.

Couples want to test the waters, as chastity is a fantasy! However, how safe is enforced chastity for long-term use?

The answer permanent chastity is COMPLETELY SAFE as long as there are safety measures in place, and you follow proper hygiene.

On the other hand, your sub man needs time to adjust to the new reality while wearing the chastity cock cage.

These are essential factors to have an enjoyable permanent chastity experience! So how do you prepare your man for long-term chastity?

Get all the ins and outs right here!

Find the Perfect Permanent Chastity Device

Enforced Male Chastity Device

What is the best male chastity device?

Excellent question it is the one that fits you!

You can spend your money on the Fancy Steel Chastity Slim Fit Belt or the CB6000 male cock cage the fact remains it needs to fit snug and not too tight.

The device must feel comfortable without rubbing or pinching against any part of the penis or testicles.

Therefore, your penis cage needs to fit like a glove.

So make sure to note if you see any red marks, chafing, rubbing, and pain and more while wearing.

Furthermore, do not go and choose a cock ring one size smaller, thinking a tight fit is more effective for long-term chastity.

A fact is that it is hazardous to your penis and health. You do not want to feel chafed or have sensitive skin during your permanent chastity.

As a result, how do you know if the cock rings are a perfect size?

If you can wear it four hours without your balls, slipping out you have the right fit.

Alternatively, you can place your middle finger between your skin and the ring up to the first joint.

Lastly, for long-term use choosing a cage that is slightly larger than your dick might not be the best solution.

So why choose a snugger fit? When it fits snug, it lines up well with the urethra making it comfortable to pee.

At least you will not end up peeing on your foot. 

Think about hygiene!

Long-Term Health Care

With permanent chastity, hygiene plays an important role.

You need to keep it clean when wearing it for extended periods to prevent odor from forming as it leads to a big turnoff.

While stainless steel cages have ample holes with breathable areas, the device remains locked.

Get yourself a showerhead you can set to high to flush-unwanted fluids out of the cage.

Furthermore, get some Q-tips to clean your cock.

Lastly, make sure to dry the cage after getting it wet to prevent unpleasant smells and more.  

Preparing your man for long-term chastity

Locked Permanently

While allowing your sub having one orgasm a year keeps him eager to serve you and something to look forward to—you need to get him used to it at first.

Therefore, you can get a short-term chastity device to begin the training for the first few months. Start with a full month before you give your sub a break.

Leave him at least for a week to ease the body and allow him to orgasm to prepare the mind mentally. You may even find he wants to cage longer as the orgasms more tremendous caged.

After the week, get him back into the device for one more month. Now is the time to challenge his obedience and devotion.

Chastity Teasing

So keep his libido high with some teasing and temptation.

Do this by asking for oral sex at least once a week; however, let him rest for a week after completing a month. Now you can start shopping for a permanent chastity device that is safe to wear.

On the other hand, now you need to give him his last sexual pleasure and lock in up for good. He will become the slave you desire and want.

However, permanent male chastity is not for everyone and can remain a far-fetched fantasy.

What are the effects of Permanent Chastity?

Myths of Enforced Chastity

While there are many myths around permanent chastity wearing a cock cage for the long term is healthy and safe.

So what are the myths around wearing a chastity device long-term?

Will it cause erectile dysfunction?

The myth is untrue, and it does not cause difficulty peeing, erectile dysfunction, or any other problems related to the function of the penis.

Urologists have consulted these matters and found no side effects associated with it.

Chastity causes nocturnal pain

Another fable that is not true. Many people say that wearing a cock can cause severe pain when you get an erection throughout the night.

The truth is that if you have a properly fitted chastity device, it should not cause any problems.

The only time it may cause discomfort is if you sleep on your stomach. Some subs have mentioned minor chafing due to this.

On the other hand, many men prefer staying un-caged overnight a couple of times per month as the nocturnal erection helps promote blood flow to your penis.

Therefore, discuss it with your keyholder for overnight uncaging.

Causes shrinkage

When you do permanent chastity, it makes your balls and penis small. Here we have another myth that is true for some users, while others found no change at all.

The fact is if you have extended periods of male chastity for a couple of months and more not having an erection or orgasm could cause shrinking of the erectile tissue on your dick.

However, if concerned, this might happen to you, talk to your mistress, or master to schedule frequent orgasms or overnight un-caging instead.

Male Chastity is Safe but say no to Spikes

Male Chastity Device with Nails

Taking part in permanent chastity has some mere myths associated with it due to misinformation.

However, there is one truly dangerous cock cage the spiked chastity device!

You can find a male chastity device that has spikes known as anti-pullout pins on the inside tube.

Why is it there? It prevents the man from pulling his cock out of the invention.

If you try to break out, the spikes dig into your dick, and it’s painful. The same thing happens when you touch yourself or get an erection.


Spiked Chastity Device Pain

These anti-pullout pins cause long-term harm and are dangerous. The fact is whether you do enforce chastity for years or short-term celibacy involuntary nighttime erections continue to happen.

There is a reason why a man wakes up with morning glory, as it is the body’s way to ensure that blood circulates properly.

Furthermore, it is normal and healthy.

Not only will these pins cut into the penis during the night it causes abrasions as well.

So if you are planning long-term chastity, use a male cock cage that is safe.

Sexual Pleasure after Chastity

Key holder’s think of it this way, what use is your subs penis for you when you do release him from captivity if his dick is bruised and not able to function.

So choose a comfortable fitting man’s chastity device to achieve great results.